Your thoughts are your life.
Have you ever been in a super “happy” situation? Or at least what should’ve been a happy situation? Maybe it was your birthday, or your boss congratulated you on a great project at work.
And yet you didn’t FEEL happy.
Our thoughts are the life we experience.
If our thought life is happy = we are happy.
If our thought life is sad = we are sad.
If our thought life is frustrated = we are frustrated.
Knowing this, how do we cope with our thoughts with compassion when they are not the type of thoughts we necessarily want to have to create the life we want?
Let’s dive into it!
- Allow Your Thoughts to Flow Through You
In our personal development marinated society this is incredibly rare and discouraged.
When we have a “bad” thought we are taught to say NO and change that thought ASAP. You are your thoughts, right? Therefore, you have to override them NOW!
Why doesn’t this work?
Well, how does that philosophy work with food? Want French fries? Change the thought!!
“I don’t want French fries.”
“I shouldn’t eat French fries.”
“French fries are bad.”
Did it work? Oh no? All you are thinking about is French fries now?
Ya, me too!!
When we resist a thought, we create tension around the thought within our bodies. Guess what works much better? Allowing the thought or feeling to move through you!
Allow yourself to lean into the thought.
Get curious around the thought. (More on this below!)
Let the thought move through you.
In the same way that getting the damn French fries and not restricting food allows you to no longer be controlled by French fries, allowing yourself to fully think your thoughts and feel your feelings allows them to no longer control your life!
Next time you find yourself quickly moving away from a thought pattern. Slow down. Lean into it. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Give your thought the time to actually BE!
- Get Curious Around Your Thoughts
The glory of actually thinking our thoughts and feeling our feelings is that suddenly we have the ability to get curious around them!
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Example: You wake up in the morning and the first thing you think of is your big belly. You saunter over to the bathroom mirror, look yourself up and down and begin to body bash. “Why is my belly so big? If only I could be self-controlled around food enough to lose weight!”
Get curious around the thought!
- Why do I think my belly is too big?
- Too big for who?
- My friends still love me even thought I have a big belly.
- My husband always says he loves my big belly.
- Man, I wish I was never taught that big bellies were bad.
- Fricken diet culture.
See how I did that? Think it through! This will definitely take more time in the beginning as you aren’t used to getting curious around your thoughts, but over time it will become more natural and easier to do.
And those thoughts that bring you down will lose their power as you actually take the time to get curious around them!
- Redirect Your Thoughts
Now that we’ve 1. Thought out your thoughts and 2. Gotten curious around your thoughts, now we can work on redirecting your thoughts!
I leave this as the last step because I know for most of you it has been taught to be the first! But the truth is working on redirecting our thoughts prior to fully thinking them through and getting curious around them isn’t a great long-term strategy.
They will always come back to bite you in the butt.
After getting curious around your thoughts, decide to redirect them. Let’s grab another example from above…
“If only I could be self-controlled around food enough to lose weight!”
- Where did I gain the idea that being self-controlled around food helps with losing weight?
- When I’ve been “self-controlled” around food, what has happened?
- I always end up binging whenever I restrict food.
- Which actually makes me gain weight.
- It’s like focusing on losing weight, literally makes me gain weight!
- Stupid diet culture.
Redirect Your Thoughts
- Ok girlie, let’s get down to it.
- The truth is being “self-controlled” around food is not all that it’s cut out to be.
- When I restrict food, I binge food.
- And I’m so done with that!!!
- I know it’s hard to see yourself as beautiful right now. And that’s ok.
- But today I choose to respect my body and not restrict food or focus on weight loss.
Your turn! Try it out!!
Be Patient with Yourself
Like any long-lasting change in life, this takes time. Have so much grace for yourself as you become intentional about actually thinking through your thoughts.
If this is a completely new process for you, just choose to focus on step 1 until you feel like it’s second-hand nature for you!
And as always, I am here to support you in any way I can. If you want to dive into implementing intuitive eating even more into your life, click here!
Certified in Intuitive Eating
Licensed Health & Nutrition Counsellor