It’s about this time of year when grocery stores begin to remind us that Valentine’s Day is coming.  Red & pink hearts are everywhere while chocolates & roses pile up in the checkout lane.  

Ugh, not again.

For many, many women Valentine’s Day does not come with warm & fuzzy feelings but rather with body bashing & dread.

Let’s work on that!

How to Find Joy on Valentine’s Day – What the World says…

Sadly, diet culture chooses to not skip this love-based holiday but rather, they capitalize on it.  

Let’s be honest, what does the world scream is a requirement of being happy on Valentine’s Day?  Being skinny?  Being in a relationship?  Being ‘healthy’?  

What else comes to mind?

How to Break up with the World’s Version of the Valentine’s Day Ideal

Let’s shatter this glass ceiling and create our own ideal.

Girl – You CAN find love without being skinny.  (BTW though, you do NOT need to find love to be happy, top for another day!) I encourage you to ask yourself, “Why do I not think I can find love while being the size I am?”  

two sisters hugging

PRO TIP:  Is your social media creating this ideal?  You know all those tiny & ‘fit’ couples you follow on the gram?  Mute them!  Follow accounts with larger women who are in relationships!  Change the narrative!!

Body Love vs. Body Neutrality

Now I know, I know I drew you into this blog by adding ‘Body Love’ to the title, but the truth is, for most women, that’s simply not realistic.

If I would ask my average client to stop body bashing, start loving her body, start recognizing she doesn’t need love to be happy and to start recognizing that she can find health & love at her current size well, I likely wouldn’t have many clients left!


Because that feels SO unrealistic when your current state is to wake up, feel like shit, walk over to the mirror and start mentally bashing your body.  

So where do we start?


We start with body neutrality.  What’s the difference you may ask?  Well body love is having those ooey gooey emotions and thoughts towards your body.  Like…

“Omg my eyes are so fucking hot.”

“Damn I love my thighs!  They are so sexy!!”

“Ugh, my hair is SO freakin gorgeous!”

Seems pretty unrealistic, doesn’t it?  

That’s why I challenge my clients to begin with body neutrality.  This means that when you wake up & walk over to the mirror you stop the body bashing with neutral gratitude.  

“My stomach is so huge.  STOP.  I am grateful that my stomach digests my food.”

“Why are my arms so flabby?  STOP.  I am grateful that my arms help me complete everyday tasks.”

“I just hate my double chin.  STOP.  I am so grateful for my lungs that help me breathe air every single day.”

See the difference??  I’m not asking you to go from hating your body to having chills of love when you see yourself.  Rather I am asking you to STOP and find something to be grateful for in regard to your body!

YOUR TURN!  Try this out this week and throw me a DM on Instagram letting me know how it goes!

Valentine’s Day is Challenging


I’m not gonna lie, Valentine’s Day can be very challenging.  Do what you can to work on some of these new skills throughout the next month.  And when those overwhelming feelings of hating Valentine’s Day and longing for a different reality come up, feel them.  It’s ok for Valentine’s Day to be hard.  You aren’t failing if it’s difficult.  Feel those feelings and have so much self-compassion for yourself!

That in itself is a radical form of self-love!

Sending you so much love!!

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