I’m a natural born people pleaser. Seriously! If you would google any of my results from all those crazy personality tests it would sum things up with, ‘she can change her personality and demeanour depending on whom she’s with.’
On one hand, this trait has allowed me to get far in life! Bosses tend to love me, I attract friends easily and can shift in seconds if I need to coach my clients in a different way that will get them better results.
The downside of this people pleasing tendency – loving myself. I never recognized how bad it was until I was sitting across from my doctor at the Mayo Clinic with my mom on one side and my dad on the other. He was listing off my official diagnosis and explaining why/how a relapse could happen in the future. He looked at me square in the eye and asked, “when was the last time you said no?” “Excuse me?” I responded. “I mean when was the last time you stood up for your body and said no to an opportunity or situation? When was the last time you didn’t just do what others wanted you to do and actually chose what your body wanted you to do vs. who others want you to be?”
“The #1 thing that will cause you to relapse in the future is not owning your life. Allowing others to dictate who you are and what you do. Mix that in with a stressful season and BAM, your body is going to want to give up. Your body needs you to stand up for her.”
Living this out in the past 5 years has been insanely challenging. Not gonna lie! But it’s also helped me to go from sleeping 20+ hrs/day to having a full-time practice and actually HAVING a life! I could probably list about 20 people right now who don’t like me or the boundaries I have given them. TWENTY! 5 years ago, that would’ve been ZERO!!
Do I regret a single one? Hell no!! Have I mourned over lost relationships? Absolutely! Have I cried over people who don’t respect or understand my boundaries and therefore I have to put down hard lines? YES. Would I set every single boundary again? HELL YES!!
No this isn’t a blog where I am going to type out 5 ways to create boundaries and keep all your relationships in pristine condition. Because honestly, I don’t think it’s possible. I do think that in prioritizing yourself, in loving yourself FIRST, there are sacrifices. But you know what hunny, YOU ARE WORTH IT! The life you get to live and create when you begin to place yourself first IS WORTH IT!
I want to give you permission to go out there and do whatever it takes in order to love yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT! Don’t waste your life giving the power away to everyone else. The moment you decide to people please instead of love yourself YOU ALLOW THOSE PEOPLE TO OWN YOU. Take your life back!! Because honestly, there are people who need YOU to be fully you!! They need you to stand up and say NO to those who are currently owning you. They are waiting for you to live a life full of boundaries so that you can attract and serve THEM!
If you feel like you need more help in creating healthy boundaries in your life, let’s chat!! Fill out this form to hop on a FREE Discovery Call with me, looking forwarding to virtually meeting you!
Xoxo, Terri Lynn